Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Hey! Get Away From That Horse, Freak!

It's not how the title sounds. Okay, maybe it'll end up how it sounds when we're done. That's up to your gutter mind.

So pill wise, they took me off a mood stabilizer that was causing crippling anxiety and added an anti-anxiety sedative to the two other mood stabilizers and the sedative mood stabilizer. Nine pills a day.

I still don't think I'm ever going to get better, but at least now I'm not shaking and crying. Just crying.

Wish I was joking.

I saw one of those stupid, "My (insert breed of dog) Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student". No, your dog is not. Sorry. I love dogs. Really.

There are some things that are cute and witty, but that bumper sticker--even as an animal lover--is not one of them. (Here's where I put the disclaimer in that it's okay if you have one of those stickers because you find them witty. Right here's where it would be. If I had such a disclaimer).

It should read, "My (insert breed of dog) Is A Fantastic...Kisser".

Your dog likes the taste of your lipstick, even if you're a guy. What I'm saying is, if you are one of those dog freaks (different than a dog lover or dog person. Okay maybe not different than a dog "lover"), then you probably should have a sticker that reads, "My (insert breed of dog) Shares Carnal Knowledge With Its Owner."

Yes, the rest of us find that bumper sticker that creepy. That level of, ahem, devotion, is freakish.

No one has bad or questionable intentions when slapping a bumper sticker of how proud they are of their Elementary School student on their car. Well, no one except a man of the cloth--and I'm pretty sure that weird singer thingy Lady Gaga should not be allowed near them, either.

So those bumper stickers are weird. Just sayin'.

On a related note, we live in a suburb near the rural town we used to live in. We pass bumper stickers all the time professing the driver's love for their horses. These are slightly less creepy, but still a little overboard.

"I *HEART* MY APPALOOSA"

You do? Well aren't you just a trooper. A for effort!

4 comments:

  1. Snicker. Those bumper stickers prove the following axiom:

    1. The people who love a certain dog breed are not the same as dog lovers. If they were, they would know that their purebred anything is likely not very smart at all, much less smarter than anyone's actual progeny.

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  2. Bwahahaha!

    On a side note, hope you're feeling a little better, and I totally laughed over the post about Lydia's attributes. Just catching up on everything I missed the past few weeks.

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